Even in the intimate confines of a blood-bound relationship, it is inevitable to experience its complexity. Such is an idea overshadowing this passage in which the author presents the relationship between the father and his daughter as conflicting, paradoxical, and tainted with guilt and desire.

From the opening of the passage, a sense of cultural conflict is established. This is ostensibly demonstrated by the fact that the daughter is named “Li Wen” but has modified it to “Lee”, immediately creating a sense of cultural tension by the fact that her name- the very reflection of her culture, has been changed. Such a cultural rift is emphasised as the father asks “Don’t you remember anything about our country?”, the possessive pronoun “our” indicating plurality, pointing to the culture that tied them together, thus making the fact that she replies “My Country?” using the singular possessive pronoun “my” even more fragmenting. Moreover, she continues to respond with “ Oh. Yeah. Some”, an answer that seems flippant and dismissive, almost as if she does not care about her culture. This sense of difference is accentuated by her jarringly “pronounced American accent”, unobscured in their conversation and thus acting as an inevitable reminder of the difference between the two of them whenever they converse.

In spite of such cultural conflict, the father seems to recognise the restrictive traditional mindset that could pose as a potential obstacle, and this reflects the paradoxical dynamic of their relationship. As he complains of his mother being too traditional, never understanding that “one sometimes needed a modicum of privacy”, and that this was not just a “newfangled Western concept”, he demonstrates his cultural awareness. In spite of this, however, he is still “annoyed” at the fact that she wanted to listen to music instead of conversing, revealing that he too is bound by the same traditional mindset, although he simultaneously transcends it by remarking that “ in a way, it was a relief not to have to talk”. Such a paradox is further demonstrated by the fact that on their first meeting “he hugged her”, revealing a desire for physical intimacy that is undermined by the fact that he did so “clumsily”, a demonstration of his uncertainty and awkwardness towards such physical expressions of affection, something that challenges the traditional tendencies of non-verbal expression in spite of its poor execution. Furthermore, the fact that she responds to this with “grudging nonchalance”- an oxymoron in itself- reflects the way that she is responsive and desiring of interaction, yet also cold. Such a dynamic is further demonstrated by the fact that “her step was jaunty” and “light-footed”, “almost like cat-walking.” On the one hand, the diction in “cat-walking” creates a sense of confidence like that of a model strutting along the platform, yet on the other, the diction in “jaunty” and “light-footed” paint a picture that directly contrasts such poised elegance, and rather imply delicate care- almost as if tiptoeing through darkness, fearful of what lies in the unknown. This, perhaps, is a physical manifestation of the paradoxical nature of their relationship; while the fact that they are blood-bound father and daughter allows them to be at ease with each other (she calls him “man” instead of dad, a term that seems rude but is really an indication of intimacy in American culture), there is still a sense of uncomfortable awkwardness underpinning their interactions that forces them to be “light-footed” as they tiptoe around each other, unsure of how the other would react should they be provoked.

It is not just their relationship that is paradoxical, however, for their reunion in itself is paradoxical in the sense that it was only allowed to occur because Lee’s mother “had drowned accidentally” three weeks ago. Thus, this meeting becomes a new beginning that came as a result an ending; the ending of a life that once connected the two of them through its motherly bonds. Yet in spite of such a tragic casualty, its retelling is blunt and factual, bereft of the emotion we would expect, and thus, it is perhaps a reflection of the way in which this pain has left them numb, not because they are used to it, but because the wound that is only “three weeks” old, is still raw and open- sensitive territory around which one must tread “light-footed”.

Despite their meeting being a new beginning, the underlying sense of desire and guilt in their relationship contradicts what one would expect of a fresh start. This is touched upon firstly as he reveals that “all he had was a rather smudged photograph to go by”, the diction in “smudged” suggesting that this is something he has looked over countless times, holding it dearly as a fragment of a past gone but not forgotten, and therefore revealing a sense of desire and a longing for a past that was once the loving present. Nonetheless, the fact that he “couldn’t pick his daughter out from the crowd”, and guiltily admits that “he should have recognized the flowing hair,” denudes the obligation he knew he had but failed to fulfil through the diction in “should”. Arguably, when he was “annoyed” but “relented” anyway, it was as a result of this guilt in combination with his “eight years” of absence that caused him, perhaps, to feel unworthy of expressing such disapproval. Such guilt and the remorse it would indubitably evoke is culminated by the fact that she had to confirm his identity, asking “Are you my dad?”. Though not explicitly said, one’s own child having to ask such a question is a devastating prospect, and perhaps it is the guilt and regret he feels that compelled him to relent as well. While divorce and distance cannot break a bond tied by blood, it can is certainly capable of fracturing the relationship, leaving it crushed, but, in this case, not entirely shatterer. ‘Eight years” of absence has ended now that he is very much present, and the fact that she “[needs] the music” but pauses it eventually to ask what he does indicates a desire to get to know him again.

Through the cultural rift between Li Wen and her father, a sense of tension is presented that fits into the oxymoronic dynamic of their relationship, and such a dynamic points to the guilt as a result of the past, but also a new beginning in which they can both redeem such a past. Through their reunion, perhaps the author intimates that fresh starts are not always pure- sometimes they have to be seasoned with mistakes, regret and pain to be truly delicious.